This is for anyone who can have sex but freezes the moment they open their mouth. All they manage is "Does it feel good?" or "I'm about to come," and the mood dies on the spot.
It's also for anyone whose head is full of things to say but who only manages a couple of hums, then regrets not saying that one line.
Everyone can read it. The first half is for the side that usually does more of the talking (mostly men), and the second half is for the side that usually responds, and gets told more often to "let it out" (mostly women). If your roles are reversed, it applies just as well: swap "he/she" for whatever fits you.
This covers only adults who are both sober and consenting. Coercion, degrading insults the other person has clearly said they don't want, and treating pain or humiliation as the default kink are all outside its scope. Dirty talk is play, not one-sided punishment.
The writing is very explicit. If you prefer something vague and poetic, feel free to close the tab.
Get the mindset right first: dirty talk isn't reciting lines
Dirty talk in porn is like dubbing. The rhythm serves the camera, it's fake, and listening to it kills desire. It's kind of hilarious.
The three most common ways it goes wrong in real life:
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Suddenly using a broadcaster's voice to say "you little slut," and cringing at yourself first.
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Grunting silently the whole time, so your partner has to imagine the rest.
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Treating degrading words as a master key. Whether or not the other person likes it, you call them a bitch, which is dumb.
Good dirty talk usually has four qualities:
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True to the moment: you say what you're actually seeing and feeling right now.
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Specific: body parts, movements, the sound of wetness, the clenching, all of which beat "you're so dirty."
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Answerable: leave half a sentence for the other person to pick up.
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Stoppable: if they frown or say "don't say that," you change immediately.
Volume, frequency, and how filthy your words get should all match the temperature of the moment. During foreplay, keep it quiet and specific. Near orgasm, use short, repeated phrases. Afterward, ease back down gently. Don't open at orgasm volume.
You can settle consent ahead of time with one sentence: "In bed, can I call you dirty, tell you how tight you're gripping me, or say I want to make you cry? Are there any words that are off limits?" That beats fumbling for boundaries halfway through. If you're newer to all of this, our guide to preparing for your first dildo experience covers setting the mood and pace before you start.
For guys: how to talk until she goes weak in the knees
Start by describing
Don't push in and ask "Does it feel good?" Asking too much feels like a quality inspection. Better to state what you see and feel:
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"So wet… I barely touched you and you're already like this."
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"You're already sucking me in here."
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"Your legs are spread this wide, do you want me inside?"
Description turns people on more than evaluation. Evaluation easily becomes empty lines like "you're such a slut," which is gross and weird. Description plays her body's reactions back to her, and a lot of people get wetter and bolder in answering because of it.
Names plus body parts hit harder than dirty words
Mix "baby" or her name with "clit," "inside," "pussy," and "wetness." Specific body parts pin her attention on the pleasure. You can say:
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"When I rub your clit, you clench tighter inside."
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"The moment the head of my cock went in, you bit down on me."
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"Right here on the front wall, is this the feeling you said makes you want to pee?"
If she's shy, put the dirty words later: body part first, adjective after. "Your clit… it's so hard" works better than opening with "slut."
Give commands, but keep them short and doable
Effective commands work like navigation, not insults:
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"Squeeze again."
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"Lift your hips, let me go deeper."
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"Look at me."
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"Put your hand down and touch your clit."
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"Don't hold back, I want to hear you moan."
Ineffective commands are long speeches, or demands she clearly can't carry out. When she does it, confirm right away: "Yes, just like that… you take it so well." The confirmation is itself the reward.
Praise her skill, not just her "slutty" side
"Slutty" carries a put-down, as if she's unclean, but what you want is to encourage her. Some people love "slutty" and some hate it. A safer kind of praise focuses on ability and response:
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"You suck me in so well."
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"You shake the second I hit here."
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"You're this wet, is it for me?"
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"I can feel you swallowing me inside."
When you tie the pleasure to what the two of you are doing, she's more likely to keep going, unless you've both clearly agreed you're into humiliation.
How to use degrading words (optional, not required)
Use them only when she has clearly said she's into it. The principle: degrade the desire of this moment, not her character, appearance flaws, or social identity.
Relatively safe: "you want it this badly," "so greedy," "clenching this tight, do you need to get fucked?" These are fine, sometimes great. But if you want to degrade her as a person, you must tell her beforehand. Respect matters.
A way to test: start one notch lighter and see whether she gets wetter and leans in, or freezes. If she freezes, pull it back. A debrief afterward matters more than pushing through in bed.
Near climax: short, repeated, breathing in sync
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"Squeeze."
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"Right there."
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"Give it to me."
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"Together."
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"Come in…" (where has to be agreed on beforehand)
Repeating the same line is sometimes more effective than switching things up. If you can still say a long sentence before you come, you're probably still performing.
Common dumb moves for guys
Suddenly switching to a porn voice. Saying only "I'm about to come" with zero attention to her clit or front wall. Treating "scream for me" as a command, using filthy words to cover for not knowing foreplay. Going silent or checking your phone right after coming, or lighting up a cigarette afterward, which is dumb.
After you finish, say at least one thing: "Did you like that?" or "Tell me which line went too far and I'll change it." Make her feel that you love her.
For women: how to respond, take the lead, and moan without feeling awkward
A lot of women can talk; they're afraid that one word will make them seem "too slutty," that he'll think they're unclean. But a pure, innocent kind of love can be just as erotic. What's most alluring in bed is an honest voice and a half-sentence of guidance, not how dirty the words are.
Let your voice leak out first
Breathing, nasal sounds, and a suppressed "mm" are already dirty talk. Make them short when he hits the front wall or rubs your clit just right, and lower and longer when he's grinding. If you want words, start with "there," "gentler," "right here." Keep them short and specific.
Guidance matters more than performance
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"A little higher… yes, the clit."
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"Shallower, scrape the front part."
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"If you go deeper it hurts, so stay right where you just were."
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"Use your hand… yes, don't stop."
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"Grind slowly, don't just thrust."
When you say clearly what your body feels, he gets harder and has more direction. That's ten times more useful than forcing out "so good." Just saying "so good" makes you sound like the girls on gossip sites who can't manage anything else. It's not that sexy, and a lot of guys want skill.
Taking the lead: describe feelings or name his moves
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"The moment you hit here, my legs go weak."
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"I'm so full… but I love it."
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"When you rub my clit, I clench by myself inside."
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"Don't pull out… just like this."
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"I want you to…" (followed by something specific: lick, use your hand, from behind, look at me)
Give commands, say it clearly, and make the words filthy. You don't have to use medical terms like penis or clitoris. "Little bean," "big cock," "dick," "pussy" are more exciting. These are things you normally can't say in ordinary settings, but saying them clearly makes the moment better.
Name his moves: "Just that angle you had before," "when you kneel up and come in, it's so deep."
You can give orders too
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"Lie back, let me ride you."
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"Flatten your tongue… yes."
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"Take it in your mouth, no teeth."
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"Watch me take you in."
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"You're not allowed to come that fast today." (as a joke or in earnest, depending on your chemistry)
Many guys love being needed and having the pace set for them. It lets them feel your love and approval, so they go at it with everything they've got.
How to moan so it doesn't sound fake
Follow real stimulation, not a script. If you don't feel anything, don't force it. You can repeat his action words, break your own sentences with breath and moans, and get shorter near orgasm: "Don't stop," "right there," "I'm coming." If you're shy, you can moan into his shoulder or a pillow, but you must say it out loud: "So deep, baby, it feels so good there, you're hitting my womb, so deep, all the way in." (This isn't physically possible, but the point is to make him feel good.)
Taking degrading words and setting boundaries
If he likes it, say: "You can get dirtier." But if you don't like it, and your nervous system flares up, tell him seriously: "That word is off limits," or "Don't insult me, praise me." Replace it right away and say what you want: "Say I'm gripping you tight, say I want it." Clear boundaries mean nobody gets offended, and that's what lets you dare to be wild.
Afterward
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"When you said… I felt it so much."
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"Next time you could go a bit more…"
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"There was one line that was too embarrassing for me, next time swap it for…"
Keep iterating. That's what works. Talking afterward also helps with aftercare for your toys and your body; our silicone care guide covers the cleanup side.
Call and response
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Foreplay: he says "So wet," she says "Your hand… a little higher."
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Penetration: he says "I'm in… You take me so well," she says "Shallower… scrape the front."
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Speeding up: he says "Squeeze," she says "Right there… don't stop."
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Edge: he says "I'm about to come," she says "Look at me," or "Wait for me… use your hand first."
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Ending: he says "Did you like that?" she says "I loved it when you said…"
The examples are a template. Don't memorize them word for word. Take it slowly and feel your own way.
If you'd like a low-pressure place to practice finding your words first, JoyHub's AI Lover is a voice-or-text companion you can talk to at your own pace, with Conrad and Jason included with any TouchReal purchase. See how your TouchReal toy works with JoyHub's AI Lover, or read how AI companions are changing modern intimacy.
Finally
The core of dirty talk: say out loud the pleasure that's happening and leave a short phrase the other person can answer. It's better when both of you speak, and it can't be all about yourself.
Guys usually rely on description, commands, and specific praise. Women usually rely on navigation, an honest voice, and naming and responding to what he does. Degrading words are optional, but consent is mandatory. Don't keep insulting the other person. It turns people off.
Switching positions can make things last longer, but being able to talk makes the same position feel better. The thrill of breaking a taboo is hard to match.
Curious about the AI side? Start with what an AI dildo is, or browse the AI Fantasy collection.
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